It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Monday, October 31, 2005 THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT:It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am, when an elderly gentleman inhis 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated thathe was in a hurry, as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour beforesomeone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing hometo eat breakfast with his wife. I then inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victimof Alzheimer Disease. As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, Iasked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she nolonger knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

I had to holdback tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life".True love is neither physical, nor romantic.True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

Peace is seeing a sunset, and knowing who to thank.The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."

Monday, October 31, 2005 ok i know it was no excuse for me to throw tantrums and be jealous. i'm sorry...oh heck why am i saying that...

anyway today morning i was like super bored k...yeah but after that went to play bball with zoey and jelly... play also play like super dead...kept on feeling like wanting to sleep ... then throw ball also cannot throw properly. haha... jelly got injured. now her right..or is it left eye like got half punch haha...

after that went to heartland to meet yeeling...met so many other ppl... sigh... wish hols will never ever end.

hate to think that i haven even started on my homework

Sunday, October 30, 2005 ok...i've failed twice already this year. guess its God's way of telling me that its not my line. cause no matter how much effort i put in, how much time...i get nothing. instead when i help people with their cases they come back unappreciative and take the credit. when i give them suggestions to shorten their stupid long case they give me lousy excuses and go over time. and whenever i come up with rebuttals they take it from me. WTH. i'm pissed all right. and dun try to comfort me. you'll just get stung. give me time too cool down. AND GIVE ME BACK MY SPEAKER POSITION. I HATE MY BLOODY THIRD NOW. I HAVE NEVER ENJOYED A SINGLE DEBATE WHERE I WAS A THIRD. THATS ALL I'M ASKING FOR. I WANT TO ENJOY MY DEBATE CAREER NEXT YEAR SO STOP PISSING ME.

It isnt true that i'm not happy for them. i really happy that the juniors could prove themselves in this debate competition. GOOD FOR THEM.

Friday, October 28, 2005 TOMORROW IS THE DEBATE...EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL...EVERYTHING IS WELL UNDER CONTROL. SMILES. I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY. MY MIND IS IN A WHIRL.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 today no school so woke up late...yay!! then my mummy taught me how to drive car!!! *woots* super scared to bang other cars can. then she over there TURN TURN TURN!!! haha... super fun but wah your heart can jump out. then went swimming. ugh hate my tanlines. super ugly. bleh. anyways the debate team came over to brainstorm then Adeline called to trash our case... sigh hope we do well

Saturday, October 22, 2005 Haven't blog for soo long because of the hectic week schedule. was preparing for Animal Day, receiving back exam papers and sorting out stuff for debate. Even when exams are over life is still so busy or maybe even busier.

The Methodist Cup debate competition is next week. And we couldn't ask for a nicer way to open our competition by being paired up with ACS(I). Wao... i am sooo excited to debate against them. *rolls eyes* you should have seen my reaction when i found out. Flipping mad. And to top things, our dear teacher, not naming anybody, volunteered to draw out our second team cause it would create a bye round. In the first place, she should have jolly well known that we always would want to include the juniors for any competition available. *Sigh* so yeah...anyways going to have night training for 2 days with Pflug...if only we could get a permenent coach.

Exams...failed physics only thank God. but didnt do well. Didnt get any A's at all. All B's except for Chinese and Physics...DUH?! they are like my weakest subjects. But overall this year i didnt fail anything. but i didnt do well either. 18 pts. bleh. even worse for the exam 22 pts.. double bleh. well...don't want to be crying over spilled milk so i'll just look forward to next year and work hard. *smiles*

Animal day!!! woots* quite a lot of people. but the animal show that we conducted...the first one was a total flop. but the second wasnt too bad. even had pet interaction last minute because of some misunderstanding with A TEACHER. yeah she is super irritating and i felt like slapping THAT TEACHER. heck. Oey's dog Snoopy is sooo cute!!! haha...rather fat but won the beagle dog race. came in 2nd haha... super difficult to pull him can ... haha...

the class bonded a lot during the animal day preparations...was super glad to see everyone involved in doing something. yay!!! anyways the class outing will be at sentosa but dunno when...

feel like jamming now...crap...anibodi wanna jam?

Sunday, October 16, 2005 well didnt have time to pen(type) down my thoughts last night. going out with Hui Shi and Gracia really opened my eyes to see how blessed i am to have them since young. We have been growing up together from primary 2? yeah and i suppose that most of the time we take it forgranted that we have sisters in Christ walking and growing with you all the way in the same church. Brothers is another thing altogether even though we have been in the same class for so many years, however both partied has never made an effort to bridge the gap between the sexes. yeah. it really would be nice if one day the whole sec 3 group was one big happy family haha. Thank God for Fellowship!!! PTL!!!

anyways the baptism class was indeed an eye opener for me in the sense that i was able to know more about what TPBC thought about certain aspects. it was too long a session i would say but never mind about that.

had COL. Png today again talking about God's promises to Isreal and how he would deliever them out of misery. When you listen to him talk, or in this case me, i soak in everything that he spoke about, hungry for more. never have i been so interested in a message before that i ignore what is happening around me. i was overjoyed when Uncle Jit Meng said that Col. png would be coming back next week to talk about Europe and what the Bible has to say about her.

Praise the Lord!!! it has been my desire and prayer for 4 years that CS and Jas would be able to come to church and they did!!! you won't be able to comprehend how happy i am to see fellow Christians come together to worship the Lord and listen to his people.Pray that they will continue to grow strong in Him and hunger to know him more.

had Bible Study after that and learnt and experienced a different perspective on how and why Jesus died for us. it has never ever occurred to me all the sins he had to carry for us. really every single sin that we have in this corrupt world. Just for us, God was willing to sacrifice his SON and 'disown' him. How thankful we should be to our Father. Had private time with Joyce talking about everything and anything. i thanks God for her as my mentor. Hope that when i become a leader to others i would be as patient and understanding as her. and to have the fear of the Lord.

Saturday, October 15, 2005 whew...yesterday and today all passed by so quickly. had founder's day celebrations at PLMC yesterday until 11 30 so i went home with hui qi. slept for the whole afternoon thus saying that it passed quickly. woke up at 6 08pm only to realise that i was late for worship practice. worked myself into a frenzy and ended up spilling water on the counter haha. splashed water on my face took my pic and rushed down to church. thank God that it is just oppo my house. after 2 hrs of jamming went home had a quick dinner and then went for a long cycling trip with Terence. from our house all the way to my school too the serangoon stadium and back. whew... really tired but enjoyed myself.

today woke up at 7 45, took bus to kovan cc to play bball... until 10 15. went home had guitar lesson where my teacher was sooo trying to get me to play in another pattern but to no avail. haha... sometimes its a wonder that he doesnt give up on me haha..

went for baptism class...have ard 20 of us doing it!!! yay!!! anyway went out with the girls after that to orchard ate dinner at marche after much arguing haha. really enjoyed myself. hui shi splurged on MARKS AND SPENCER foodie 40 over bucks haha and her dinner was like 20 over. Gracia and i were more realistic haha...

sigh need to practice guitar for tmr...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 HAHA went jogging with YEE LING. she run 2 rounds wanna die already. do sit up also like that. lol... then ask her to sprint she crawl. hehehe ok lah not that bad...at least she ran and she was sick but still went to ran. hiaz rather stupid rite? people sick will rest then she go and jog. thought that if she jog today she will lose a lot of weight hahaha. best lah she.

today super slack. woke up at 11, had brunch, stoned, watched last nights ALIAS which rocked, haha. the Von guy is soo cute but too old. anyways i really stoned alot today and unwinded. my poor thumb is aching like wad today. stupid boy. next time if i ever play with him again and he hit me he's going to get it. lucky i never scold him. he wouldnt like to be scolded by me man... hahaha.

crap tomorrow have wad post exam activities. GROOMING COURSE. crappp sigh...wonder how they gonna embarrass us.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 thought today would be a sian day... did exam wasnt too bad. chemistry MCQ... haha didnt study cause was sick of studying. stayed back for animal day briefing. hmmm rather rush. next friday is already the animal day. went home watch tv had lunch cooked by younger bro.. passable hahaha...

was sianified so slept while my bro read through my seventeen mag. lame... then woke up watch some lame cartoon on kids central, messaged Jelly... ended up playing bball at her house. haha played match with 2 st. nics girls and one of their small bro. he freaked me out can. everytime i get the ball he come attack like monster like that. whack me until i let go of the ball. made my freaking thumb which was injured 5 times injure again... wad the... super pissed but i cant bully a small boy rite?

went to Jelly's house hahaha...her bro sooo cute..so sticky to her. saw me then so shy hahaha hide behind the door then run and hide behind the bed. hahaha... woots tomorrow no school... can sleep in. YAY!!!

EXAMS NO MORE...ROCKS...

Sunday, October 09, 2005 i've just realised that nobody and i mean no one can ever be someone that i trust. theres just no one to share my real joy or sadness... yes i do agree that i have my friends and close friends...but there is no one at all that i can call best friend or bro or sis. is it fate that i have to rely on my own support? it seems that i'll never have anybody to vent my anger on but wun punch me back. no one to confort me or to laugh with me. NO ONE. i may seem that i have the whole world under my control. that i'm happy with life. but am i? am i really? do i look like i am ok? inside i'm crying forever. its just that no one knows. NO ONE...

*my tears only i can feel...my cries only i can hear...*

Sunday, October 09, 2005 today's SF service was GOOOD man and i mean real good...the message was really really good hahaha... serious it was one of the best that ive heard probably it affects me indirectly. an outside speaker came ... talked about the end days and what has been predicted and wad has happened. when u hear it... it sends shivers down yr spine... its soooo cool. take for example when jesus said that 1 generation later they will be allowed to go back to their land. at that time it was 30AD. 1 generation would be 40 years. at 70AD, the Isrealites were allowed to go back and build their temple. EXACTLY 40 years from when they were captured. there are many other more. like when God gave Moses the curses and blessings, and it was carried out hundreds of years after bacause they did not obey. whoaa... its amazing when u think of it...i am soooo amazed.

had bible study with joyce and deb after sooo long... i think about 1 month plus already. while talking and listening to their sharings, it hit me that i was slowly drifting away from God slowly. i was hardly spending time with him only during sundays. and when i do paru to him, its the usual stuff... asking asking and asking but never praising him. Guilt swept over me and i was soo ashamed. Deborah was growing strongly in the Lord and Joyce herself had experienced Him.Reflecting on my actions, i was extremely guilty and could feel the dissapointment that God had towards me... prayed asking for His un-ending forgiveness and so now i will try to make an effort to grow closer to him with his help. A very meaningful morning it has been.

anybody interested in going for next weeks service just tell me... the outside speaker will be coming so its a good message. *smiles*

Saturday, October 08, 2005 today super slack... woke up at 10 then wanted to play basketball budden rain so heavy can... ppfftt... so i slacked and slacked surfing the net aimlessly eat a pathetic lunch that i cooked myself and the pasta not cooked properly... watch tv. do some more computer. walk around the house... then 4pm went to shoot hoops at the court... ended up playing 4-on-4 match with some people... 6 guys 1 girl... wah... the guys play super good... see them shoot can go *whoaaaaa* haha yeah... i sound stupid. anyways play play... they think i cannot shoot so never block me lah... in the end all the ball they pass to me i shoot in haha... hao lian here... haha... play until tired go home go out makan... sian... today

tomorrow got church at 9 30!!! finally have SF service after sooo long... hmmm next week i play the guitar for worship then leading offering the week after next... Zhi Zhen sooo rocks can... haha she put our band in for singsperation hahaha... anyways yeah it will be my first time leading offering... and so... yepp... tmr signing up wif hui shi and tricia for baptism... a lot of us(SFers) going for it... rocks!!! can share the same happy day together hahaha...

Friday, October 07, 2005 YAY YAY YAY... i can FINALLY blog... its not stagnant anymore... woots so happy... have not been able to blog for like the past two weeks because of some problem with either my blog or the whole blog itself...but who cares... I CAN BLOG AGAIN... have super a lot to catch up with... maybe its divine intervention hahah from God to stop me from blogging during my examinations ahhh cant contain my joy of being able to blog again... ok i know i sound pathetic but WHO CARES?! its my life... *laughs* ok hmmm where should i start...

well... basically i HAVE been mugging for my exams by myself, with dear Celeste and god-bro Terence who it seems does not know exactly how to concentrate on studying and is distracted by sooo many things. anyways thats out of point. Soooo i have been studying but it was a last minute studying kind of thing and YES i have learnt my lesson to start studying at least 1 month before it starts. yepp... and now even though its not exactly the end of exams (still have 3 MCQ papers... but its only MCQ RITE?!) i have already started celebrating!!! *woots*

welll... various papers had their different levels of difficulty... eg. d math section A was a Killer yepp... did it until wanted to cry cause i was REALLY afraid of my parents killing me for not doing well in MATH... cause they pay LOADS to my tuition teacher... and i mean LOADS... so they expect results from Maths... then ermmm geog i'm afraid that i wun get my A for it cause of not exactly completeing my essays and drawing wrond diagrams... chinese was ok... but i tell u my ok will end up with me getting bleh marks... a maths arghh dun talk about it... ok i'm sooo done ratteling on and on about exams...

celebrated today by playing basketball and going out haha...super no stamina after so long of not playing... tired when only played like 1/2 hr... then played 3 on 3 match with zoey, vanessa, jasmine and sis... and eileen...sigh... basketball is the best thing that could ever happen in ones life... including guitar haha... then after 1 hr plus of sweating it out... i rushed to ps to catch movie with hui zi and mich ng... couldnt decide wad to watch but in the end caught into the blue... okok i know it sounds all dreamy and stuff like that... but NOOO... its filled with blood and sharks and people scuba diving in the Bahamas...i've always dreamed of going there... but it can only stay as a dream and nothing more *sigh*... well saw A LOT OF PL GIRLS AT PS... and i mean A LOT...sec 2s with guys, sec 3s... blah blah...

blog a lot...and i suppose whoever hu HAD the patience to read it must have dozed off by now... into their very own special LALA LAND... dreaming of bunnies hopping about in green meadows, with streams that are crystal clear, and rainbows filling the whole sky... HAHA OOP (OUT OF POINT)

rock on people...