It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Tuesday, June 06, 2006 Debate
everything is totally in a mess right now. i dont know what to do. what to think. right when i woke up from my nap and logged online a, very excited hilary msn me to ask if i knew about the news. i racked the calender in my brain to try and recall any recent or upcoming debate event but couldnt think of any. At the same time i received an sms from kau stating that OUR SEC 2 DEBATERS WON RI BY 1/2 A MARK. right then i was stumped. not because they won but because nic and i werent even informed about them joining THIS COMPETITION. and if i remember correctly rachael even told me that our school may not even participate in this competition because the e mail may have been sent to stubbins. and i told her that it was a pity cause nic and i wanted to join.

so you see how it all ties up? ONLY NOW THEN I RECEIVE NEWS FROM SOMEBODY OUTSIDE DEBATE even though hilary had wanted to tell me about it. so i was busy wondering why they didnt bother to tell us abt this competition and msn-ing nicole about it which she was pretty flustered up about us well.

i called robyn and asked her why didnt they inform us. this was her answer: OH ER BECAUSE YOU ALL ARE OUT OF DEBATE ALREADY. this answer is PERFECT. nic and I are out of debate already. i see. so they dont consider us part of debate any more. and that we're not important anymore that we're just *pooft* out of it. so basically, when nic and i attended you girls Y14 competition you all looked to us as mere outsiders-am i allowed to think that way?- aye? yes. ok then maybe its my fault that they've no respect for us. in the least their captain anymore since WE'RE OUT OF DEBATE. now i know that i havent garnered their respect at all and since we've step down it means we're out. out of the team now huh. okay. let it be that way if you girls want it. only that i'll like to say that i'm very disappointed and even though you HAVE won the debate against RI, im not proud of you and have not rejoiced in your victory yet. to me its only a win, but your mindset of us...now thats the real lost and failure that you all have.

Basketball
it seems that im the bad guy now. that I , ME, i have an attitude problem. that I'M wrong to be angry, THAT I CANT BE ANGRY. you know something. IM HUMAN. IM A LIVING BEING YOU KNOW. EVEN ANIMALS GET PISSED OFF SOMETIMES. well THE FACT THAT IM A HUMAN BEING MEANS-i have feelings. means i get angry too. means that i defend myself if i need to. it seems that you think that anybody else can get angry but i cant. WHOOO. ok. tell me when you're under fire next time and i'll wait and see your reaction. only when i see that you dont have a hint of retaliation then i'll admit my wrong. OTHER THAN THAT DONT EVER TALK TO ME ABOUT HER AND MY ATTITUDE. you all can say all you want about me. that i have a lousy attitude. but since when after sooo long have you seen me like this? NEVER. right up till now. so does me being frustrated and upset thus showing my emotions in the way i do make me have an attitude problem? thats the way you think right.

now you two said that i MIS-READ HER BLOG. go and read it again. if you dont know where is it cause her words are too small i copied and pasted here. READ IT AND TELL ME IF IM WRONG. -if u wan say my attitude. say yours first. yours isnt any better- ok? tell me tomorrow that im wrong still? go ahead. i know you're trying to help her. i UNDERSTAND.