It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Thursday, July 27, 2006 Friday Friday Friday!
I'm so looking forward to Friday!
It means the weekends are here
It means I get to enjoy the luxury of waking up at 9am.
It means I can have time to study
It means that I'll have time to spend time with God and I have NO excuse to not spend time with Him =)
It also means that week 6 is approaching

ELDDS sec 4 farewell tomorrow. What to wear, what to bring. I'm going to enjoy myself and the performances that they'll be putting up. I'm going to enjoy the companionship and friends and drama fever. I LOVE ELDDS.

The acceptance of our Lord is something that i've wanted each and every one of my friends to do. It's the greatest joy that one could have seeing your friends and love ones getting to know Him as our Father and Lord. I've been praying and will continue to pray for each and everyone out there. =)

However i'd have to admit that sometimes I doubt their friendship with me. It's that insecurity that I have since primary school since I've been through an especially traumatic experience in lower primary. I dont wish to but I just have that lack of trust that the people around me are my true friends. Call me paranoid or not being able to trust, but seriously deep inside me is this empty space thats looking for true loving friends.

Even now, everybody is so busy with their own lives theres hardly time to just sit back and talk. Theres no time to go out together and even if we do organise, it ends up in pieces with no one going because they back out one by one. Not that I hate them for it but it kinda shows how important you place our friendships above other stuff, that we've already taken much time and energy to contact and plan out.

The class that i'm in now. Though I do have that group of people that I mix with, but they have their close friends, they have their cliques. For me,i'm a travelling vagrant. I just dont feel the love that friends should have for each other.

I may seem emotionally unstable or over expecting from my classmates, but thats who I am and thats who i'll stay to be. I see things and responses by people's actions and talk. I observe and take notice of every single detail that goes on about me. People sometimes ask me how come I know whatsoever. Well its because I make an effort to remember and take notice of these kind of issues and happenings.

I miss my kindergarten days.
I miss my yishun friends.
I miss the life that I used to have.
The only time that I feel wanted and love is on sundays at church. :(

6 more days
43 more days to prelims

not that anybody will remember anyway.