It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 16...

Practicals are finally over! Praise the Lord for that.
Chem was a breeze today. No testing of gases, no oxidising or reducing agents, no nothing. Just plain anion tests to observe the colour created and deduce the anions present in the Sodium compounds. Titration itself was the usual, potassium maganate being decolourised. As for the extension question which everyone was so afraid of, it came out as a speed of reaction question much to the amusement and surprise of many of us. I mean, we've done a few extension questions and all that we've practice was how to present the mole calculation and how we should conduct another experiment for the same results. This particular question though was, should I say brainless. Yes. It had no need for referance to any calculation and only how to conclude which catalyst was the most effective.

But I'd say, it was through my own strength that managed to go through this exam so easily. By God's grace indeed. =)

26/10-physics prac
31/10-chemistry prac
02/11-literature
06/11-e math paper 1
06/11-social studies
08/11-english
09/11-geography paper2
10/11-e math paper 2
14/11-add maths paper 1
15/11-physics
15/11-geography paper 1
16/11-add maths paper 2
16/11-chemistry

how do you put on makeup?

Sunday, October 29, 2006 18...

I'm too tired today to touch my books. All i did was:
to wake up at 8
go for service
come back
pig out with cup noodles as my lunch whilst watching the recorded PANIC ROOM on tv
sleep
tuition then
continued my study strike up till now.

and so it shall be, the stubborness of Sam prevails though under much pressure from...the outside world to mug, she'll stay true to herself and have a good long sleep tonight till dawn breaks...

night world.

naked you come into this world, naked you will leave it.

Friday, October 27, 2006 20...

26/10-physics prac
31/10-chemistry prac
02/11-literature
06/11-e math paper 1
06/11-social studies
08/11-english
09/11-geography paper2
10/11-e math paper 2
14/11-add maths paper 1
15/11-physics
15/11-geography paper 1
16/11-add maths paper 2
16/11-chemistry

and so the life continues...
wake, study, eat, study, run, eat,study, sleep.

and i think to myself "what a wonderful world".

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 the countdown starts now.

22...

26/10-physics prac
31/10-chemistry prac
02/11-literature
06/11-e math paper 1
06/11-social studies
08/11-english
09/11-geography paper2
10/11-e math paper 2
14/11-add maths paper 1
15/11-physics
15/11-geography paper 1
16/11-add maths paper 2
16/11-chemistry

Sunday, October 22, 2006 blog hiatus till...im free from doing 5 humans essay a day

just 2 more weeks...

Friday, October 20, 2006 I finally went back to school today after being 'absent' for a week. Was in a dilemma last night, trying to decide whether to go or not to go. Ailing was saying that it'll be a waste of time if I went but if I did go to school it would just to get my class photos and answers for chemistry exam papers.

So yes, though I did go back to school, I was unable to collect my class photographs and the answers for the papers were not even printed out yet. Waste of time indeed in most context, but thankfully I went to school only at 12pm so I could wake up early and not at 6am in the morning. urgh.

But as I wore the school uniform and pinned my badge onto the pinafore, I realised that in true fact, I kinda missed wearing it. yes yes, I know. surprising. It's true. And when I met my friends, playing basketball or just laughing at Pom getting caught by an appalled Cheryl Sim for eating in the AVA theatrette or fooling around with Frankgelina and Lampard, it's these times that I'll miss the most when I leave the school for good. While studying, there is the company but everyone is focus on doing their revision. In school, its more relaxed and everyone having a good time together taking photos and playing. I've already missed it this one week when we were not together, what more next year.

Classmates and friends are what makes the school such an enjoyable place. The camaraderie, everyone working hard towards a common goal and supporting each other through little notes and cards and sweets is what brings you through the 4 years spent in a secondary school. JC life will be much more different, with only 2 years spent, and a more hectic schedule that will prevent you from getting to know your aquaintances better.

Thinking of the founders day we had, we or I have much to be thankful for. As each teacher always says "the sheltering walls of PL", this place has long been my second home since primary 1 up till now. 10 years of growing up in an environment that blesses and protects you where ever you go in the vicinity. 10 years of going for chapel service every wednesday. 10 years of daily devotion service at the assembly ground. All of this will end so quickly.

I had a conversation with MingEn a few weeks back, talking about our ex-classmates, their performance for prelims and just reminisce about the past.
She said" you know, you were the first friend I ever made in PL"
I personally could not remember it until she brought it up. Only then did i remember that she was my partner and she turned to me and spoke in chinese. I being the idiot who could hardly understand a word of chinese just stared at her till she tried to explain in english. Hahaha.

Now these are called fond memories held in your heart forever. But how many of them, who i've 'made friends' with will remember me or even continue to keep in contact with others once we've split up, away from PL?


Just how many?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 Dancers are far by the best, most talented people in the world. Ok, fine. Bias as it may seem, yet I believe that they are truly the people who are blessed with this gift of theirs to dance and just move their bodies.

Art. Thats what it is. Not everybody is able to appreciate dancers and the different kinds of dance. Its even more difficult to find guys who appreciate it. So whenever I go to the Esplanade for a ballet show or musical, it's interesting enough to just sit back in your comfy red chair and look at the people walking down the aisles all dressed up. Its only there that you are satisfied cause you know that at least there are some people out there in the world that knows how to dress up and not walk around in sloppy sandals or slippers at the esplanade. Beach yes, slippers by all means but not Orchard or City Hall. Its disgusting.

Back to dance. Yea. To many, they relate dancing to weaklings who hide in the shade all day skinny and pale. But in fact, dancers are strong, muscular with great bodies. and they truly express themselves with the movements, beautiful clothes and make up.

Not forgetting hip hop and modern dance. Another form of dancing with all that energy and sharp movements. it always gets me excited to see people dancing. hahaha

I've kinda regretted quitting ballet. After 8-9 years of dancing, I quit just because of stupid PSLE and how I couldnt do splits. Childish. I've always wanted to pick it up again but always considered myself inept and no longer unable to dance. Modern dance yes. But not ballet. As i've told my mom, i'll be a stomping elephant dancing and doing stretches on the barres. yes laugh. hahaha. I dont care. Stopped at grade 5. rah wasted.

Another day of doing examination papers. Another day closer.





I'm trying to piece all our years of friendship back together.
Debaters on pointe.

Sunday, October 15, 2006 Expectations and achievements. This is what the system expects out of you all. All of you can do much better with the exception of a few that have already performed well. This is what the MOE system has churned out taken from your PSLE results.

How sickening it is to be living in a society that holds far too much expectations of each student until we are unable to perform at what we know is our best. Human resource. Yes I know thats what Singapore is but till the extent of having to need to be forced into getting 7 or 8 points is utterly ridiculous. They are not aware of the amount of pressure and work we are placed under yet they still expect us to push, like work horses under the sun. Compared to other countries, Singapore has one of the worst education systems around. Yes, we may have top notched teachers. We may have the best teaching systems and different technologies to aid us in our learning, yet is that the life of an teenager what more an 8 year old child? Each morning when I pass the school gates of the primary school, I see such small children trudging up the hill with large heavy bagpacks filled with textbooks and workbooks. Elsewhere, these children are enjoying themselves out in the open, being able to play when they want to, run around without any worries of completing their homework or having to wake up early in the morning at 5 30 or 6am to get ready for school.

Frankly, we Singaporean children lead such a deprived life, only revolving round studies, CCA achievements, getting scholarships and testimonials to be able to fight it out in the working world for the job that we will be eying. At an age of 16, we're already fretting over what our life plan should be like, that we have to plan and prepare for our future job. For those that have no particular goal, they're seen as useless, not talented people. This is such a wrong perspective of what life should be in the circular world. In other countries, teenagers worry about not being popular or getting friends. Dont get me wrong. Im not saying that this should be our priority, yet what im putting across is firstly,

children and teenagers in Singapore are trapped in an education system that wringes them till they are dry and squeezes every amount of time that they can spare to stay in school.

secondly, we're left without any proper time to fully rest our bodies nor do we have time for recreation. Yet when we do, we're too tired to be able to complete our homework, seen as a crime and deserves punishment.

thirdly, children especially nowadays do not know the meaning of play and fun in Singapore. To them its sitting in front of the computer of television screen watching re-runs of Under One Roof on Must See Tuesdays or playing crazy computer games. They are unable to truly experience the outdoors with great amounts of pollution, tarred roads and the lack of space to run about.

I remember as a primary school child I used to enjoy blading, until a time where my housing blocks were fenced up and we were unable to blade freely across through the HDB blocks. We hardly had place to play compared to when i was in NZ, huge gardens and a trampoline. Seriously, now, theres no such thing as running around barefooted or hiding in a ditch as I used to do.

As for me personally, JC open houses just ended. A tiring but exciting round of visiting various schools around Singapore from NYJC, SAJC, ACJC and VJC. Free shopping trip. NY is far too chinese for someone like me and VJ is...unattainable. Just went there to look around and meet my church friends.Stupid Chua Yee Ling was too lazy to even go and look around. Only wants to SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP. read this CHUA. As for SA and AC, i'll have to decide which one to apply for. Not that I can enter based on my prelim results, but im intending to appeal through canoeing if its possible. Thank God for my 1* certificate. Or else, I can always rivet back to debate though I doubt I will till the last resort. I want to try out a sport. Soccer would be cool! Sigh. Michael Owen is non existant. So much for staying in his no. 10 jersey forever. Nvm. Thankfully theres Gerrard, Lampard, Terry and even Crouch(yucks).

Well so much for me lamenting about the education system. As if it'll ever change. Idiots.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006 The unending love for Korea goes on and on and on in school. With bands like Shinwa and DBSK, the unfailing love that my classmates have towards them is...indescribable. hahaha. Seriously. Some go to the extent to purchase their CDs online and posters, download pictures of them into their handphones so on and so forth. Goodness. What is this world becoming into?

Even now, channel U is airing Princess Hours, a Korean Drama Serial. Being curious about what the fuss was over this show I sat down for the first episode and have now accomplished 6 discs. Not a lot one may think but it is for me, someone who hardly sits down and faces the television everyday. haha. But no fear! Especially YeeLing. Sam isnt going nuts over these little korean actresses and actors. As i've said before. It's purely anti-korean entertainment, ralling against the North Korea nuclear tests. (im not speaking any sense if you realise).

Well, no more blabbering about korean fanatics. Its time to complete my 8th set of A maths exam papers. sigh.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 School is starting to be more of a chore than pleasure as it used to be. The continuous cycle of 1 1/2 hours of droning, 1/2 of break then yet another round of noise and teacher's voice. Sigh. I'd rather stay at home and do exam papers. Coming to school is a waste of time. Like totally.

Hence, I'm going to stay at home from next week onwards though its not my study break. But i've made up my mind and they cant place me in jail or send me to exile for not turning up. Anyway those students that scored 14pts and below are allowed study leave from that week so i'll just follow them and be one of the 14pointers and below though in truth im a ugly 19pointer. sigh.

Oh nevermind. I'd just have to last two more days of utmost boredom where I cant do proper work cause of the incessent noise that is EXTREMEMLY irritating when you're trying to concentrate.

The normal students have finally finished their N level exams, thus its kinda considered holidays for them. For IP students I know SOME are enjoying their time having supper with their mom, ugh. Unfair Matthias Foo. Nevermind. wait till you get back your results. XD.

Indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humble proclaim
You are amazing God

Sunday, October 08, 2006 The BBQ was a great affair though not all were there. Yet the camaraderie was there and everyone had a great time BBQ-ing, eating, carrying lanterns, placing ice into others' shirts,BASKETBALL-ING so on and so forth.

the haze was bad though.
yeah, saturday was mugging day from 11 30 till 5 and bishan cc's READING ROOM. An extremely condusive place to study. Though I have to confess that my room is equally condusive but there are too many distractions. Especially my bed. A sad thing.

Met my family at PS for dinner, did some shopping went and home dead tired.

Had to drag myself out of bed today for church and dressed at a record speed of 15 minutes before carrying myself down the steps. Happen to meet matthias on the way, who was bemoaning about his literature on friday and Bio exam tmr haha. well at least he has no more exms after that lucky thing. IP smart ass. XD.

We've been having a series of sermons on the end times and the prophecies fulfilled and to come by Col. Png who's really well versed in this field of apologetics. We really are in the last days before the rapture and signs have already been fulfilled which were foretold 2500 years ago. Indeed it is the time of the harvest, the Anti-christ is approaching and the mark of the Beast to come.

Work when it is light for at night you cant work. Night is apprpaching.

Thursday, October 05, 2006 Zoey, Can I Be Your Fwen? I'm Not A Stocker. Meant to be:Zoey, can i be your friend. I'm not a stalker.

*Laughs* Pin the letter up on your wall or board or something Chew. A cool thing to remember. And you just called me when I'm blogging about you.

An admirer. How cool. LOL. somebody that STOCKS and is a chicken stock that wants to be her FWEN. Ok I sound evil. But all of us were kinda evil lah. For today. XD. Darn Funny.

But seriously, having these kind of people in school, especially secondary 1 pupils is not only irritating and an embarassment but a worry as well. Their minds are filty and kinda perverse to like somebody of the same gender. and please Chew is so much older than them. As for the other levels or even our own...cases such as this are pretty common even to the extent of dating and further. Its not that I hate these people, but its their actions I condem. Please, you were created to be a girl or a guy for a reason and no other implications. By commiting such acts, its not only degrading themselves, they're lowering the pride and standards of society. I dont know about others but for me and my friends, we loath such acts and are appalled at their doings.

It takes time to understand them, but if the society becomes more liberated, and acceptive to this kind of things, its a guarantee that more of this kind of relationships will start and grow. *sighs:the failure of the world*

ok no more lamenting about sickos in the head.

Baccalaureate Service today was a mixture of laughter, happiness, fond memories and tears. 10 years have passed since i've stepped into the PL family. and that 10 years have flown by that quickly, from being a primary 1 girl whose shoes were too large for her feet to a sec 4 pupil whose feet are relatively small in a size 5 shoe. 10 years of christian environment, morning devotion and chapel service. and as the teachers fondly put it: 10 years in the sheltering walls of PL.

As we knelt down in the front to receive the holy communion and blessings, i successfully stopped any tears from entering my eyes. Some others were not so fortunate to take the communion because of fear from family. My heart really ached for her, to be unable to receive the blessing personally and have the joy of sharing the communion with her fellow peers. Never mind, you know that you'll always be our sister-in-christ =)).

They showed a powerpoint presentation with dedications and love messages from our various teachers including CCA teachers and I couldnt help but tear when I read the LD note. Some snippets of what it said"You all came in as secondary 1 students (naive,noisy and something *cant remember*...)But now you have grown into secondary 4 ladies (no longer naive but more noisy and ...) LD girls are known to be loyal and successful in the future...P.S.if you become famous some day remember to send us free tickets. VVIPs no less!" yeah. It really tugged at my heart. LD really is a close family though for me I was never enthusiastic about acting. Yet each and every girl in LD was crazy, fun loving and a true lime light stealer for various purposes. Cheryl and Chris for being head prefect and president respectively, Nic and I for debates which we kinda rotate who gets best speaker at times. heh. As for the others they're the best with acting. haha. LD wont be what it is without the whole bunch of them.

Then came the surprise for me. On the presentation slide it read: Dear Samantha, Amirah and Nicole, You debaters...
And i didnt read the rest. Guess why. I wont tell. The whole cohort went whooaa when they saw the special dedication to the 3 of us. I'm so blessed to have a great teacher like Mrs Ong.

After that our form teachers sang STILL for us. and my classmates started crying and pushed the blame on me. "SEE LA SAM. You made me cry" hey I minded my own business ok. I cried and didnt ask you to look at me. haha. But that shows that I have an influence on others. (for the wrong reasons)

Can I be your FWEN? =)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 a week long computer hiatus?





i doubt so.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 Goodness, i've not been blogging for a relatively long time. Surprisingly, the temptation to switch on the computer which is in my room, study table has disappeared, so hurray to me and self-control!

This week has been spent doing math, a math, math, a math. you get the idea. as well as literature, chem, literature, chem. You ask "what about the rest of the subjects?" Here's the break down. Social studies is common sense plus i've been mugging so hard for it during the prelims that i've kinda got it all in my head up till now. As for Geography, I revise in school and while I scrutinise my exam script for every mark that I've lost at home, trying to find the cause of not getting that A1, taking down notes on what i've missed out especially physical geog. So im revising as well. Physics is another story on its own. Lets just say i'll not be touching it for the time being even though the mark reflected on the mark sheet states loudly E8 rounded to D7. not much of a difference anyway. *shrugs*

But i've learn something. Well not exactly, considering that I have known that fact since sec 1 but its another way to teach people. Chua's brother explained it to her in this manner...

Chua: Gor, whats laterally inverted?
Gor: *points third finger on both hands, facing each other* there thats laterally inverted.

if you dont get it, well. good. if not, yeah thats about it.

Stayed in school from 7am till 5 30pm today for lessons and own study time. The pushing force for a number of us was the Macdonald coupon that sat patiently on our table while we calculated the area under a curve or differentiated ln and e^x. With the additional Michael Owen or Leo Ku picture on our desks, you could say we had a fruitful time completing papers and understanding the questions.

I can gladly say that i've been more discipline after the prelims, studying harder and completing more work than i've ever done within this year. But of course theres this other side of me that will never stop playing though the world is coming to an end.

So yesterday, from 8pm to 9 15pm, I went cycling with Candice, Samantha, Tricia and Desmond bladed. For half the trip I cycled on Desmond's bike. The really small one which you cycle when you're in Primary school with checkered velcro and a bell that has the words i love my bike. It is actually fun to ride on it though going up the slope is no joke. To many of my classmates these days, taking a break is considered a henious crime which you deserve to be hanged for. Three quarter of the time is spent together glued with their books while the other one quarter is spent sleeping and reciting science definitions and literature quotes in their dreams.

But hey girls and guys out there. Studying isnt life. Ya all must learn to take breaks and chill out once in a while or else your brain will go ka-poop sooner or later. Anybody who needs to learn the art of slacking for an hour contact me. Advice is free.

This will thus explain the BBQ that half the class is going to have this friday at Maplewood Park. East Coast and Pasir Ris is ridiculously far and Maplewood Park has the gold bar. BASKETBALL COURTS. *drools* I have not touched a ball for 3 weeks and my hands are itching terribly to play some games!

Take it as a post prelim, pre-O level hang out.

I need time to jam on my guitar. and my electric guitar is horribly out of tune.

time. time. time.