It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Friday, June 29, 2007 boo. i've been really down and emo the past few days and i dont know why. why why tell me why? even up till now i feel as if i've just been stampede on by a herd of bulls or cows or horses or what nots. No matter how much i sleep i still wake up feeling reaaal tired and it makes me grumpy and stone. and now as i type the stupid laptop is making funny noises. oh just great.

1 project down, 5 more to go!
Research for Hospitality and Tourism
Introduction to Hospitality and Tourism
Communication Skills
Organisational Behaviour
Micro Economics

and i have a class test for RHT next week. one of my group members for RHT has backed out of school, my IHT is a little laggy behind but doing quite ok since we kinda went down the wrong path and had to restart from the beginning. Comms Skills teacher is screwed and she picks on every single thing on our questionnaire,Econs and OB is currently stagnant. But never mind, Samantha will stay positive and I know my project groups will be able to complete the reports and presentation materials by mid july.Some Term tests results were given back to us and the best ive got was a stupid B+ for my RHT. 38/50 and its a B+. Save me. comms skills essay? B. sigh.

So other than projects what have i been doing?
training.
mon-4.3km
tues- swimming laps
wed-8km
thurs-paddle 7km, gym, and i only completed half of 2.4 before my leg cramped up.
fri-i get to rest
sat- gym and more running

seriously my parents have been on the brink of getting me to pull out of canoeing after a number of lectures and nags from them and me returning home at 11 after a whole day at school. Even for myself im kind of struggling in making a decision. Im struggling with my running, paddling im ok and so is swimming. well i think so.

ive been really frustrated and just so arghhh this week. and i think my classmates are able to tell. i'm being labelled as a noob farmer, a walking zombie, a crazy idiotic insane girl after irritating my friend whilst he was playing his tennis championship on the PSP by covering his screen and pressing his buttons. maybe i should switch to muay thai like what some of them are doing now and vent all my irritating-ness on the punching bag or the other person. ok im joking.

sigh, my brain is a mush of everything. brain, i dont think i need additional problems right now by being rather distracted by a certain someone who sits at the opposite side of the lecture theatre hmmm? gimme a break. plus the fact that i do know him, its kinda difficult to concentrate during lectures. oops. my bad.

crap, whats happening to me. my church mates and majority of my friends have just ended their block tests today and have BOTHERED to start calling me to go out. Thing is i cant. simple as that. Yes i dont have youth day, i cant organise parties for you all and i doubt i can attend them as well. Neither can i go running with Chua even when she calls me to run(it happens in a million years) because im too ultra tired and its my rest day. Even the birthdays cards that i was creating for Deb and Mark? well its collecting dust and its due this sunday.

tell me poly life is slack. so not.

im on the verge of a breakdown and tears may come to me any minute. I miss my home and i miss time. Its 9-7 on most days or maybe 11-9 on others. even when i do have breaks, my mind is just fluttering away. today i wasted an hour of just stoning and nodding of to sleep in the canteen after sharing a lunch of pancakes and chicken cutlet with Gwen.

oh wells, what can i do other than live my life. I'm in need of TAG time. QT is done on the bus on the way to school. I'm sorry God that i have to spend time with you like that. Prayers half said before falling asleep. Sometimes I wonder if its right for me to be a BS leader and be accountable for 2 girls when i myself am struggling with my walk. it leaves me exasperated.

You know what. I need a weekend getaway. Like to Bintan just for Saturday and Sunday. Or a pleasent surprise of staying over at sentosa on a friday night.

But for now i'll just be happy doing scheduling of rehearsals,planning the sharing, projects and canoeing till september holidays come. I'll be happy. Yes I will. I am.

The Laptop sucks.it cant connect to MSN.