It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Friday, January 11, 2008 A day off from assignments. Just one day. One day I promise. I'm so tired, my fingers cramped up during worship practice today.

I feel so detached now. As if everything around me is moving and i'm standing still. Like my life's stagnant. Its really nothing right now except for school, school and more school. Even canoe is only getting 1/10 of my time. Apart from that, I hardly have time to myself, let alone sleep without having the alarm wake me up every single morning including saturday and sunday. Mondays and Tuesdays were suppose to be 1.5 hour days and now its turned to a horrible 6 hour torture chamber in school, or more specifically the project room. Where lunch is sneaked in, enemies made with the noisy group next door, conversations evesdropped on through the fake walls and so forth. We're trapped and confined to the 4 walls of a 4m by 5m room for 4 hours facing the computer typing out 6000 words and analysing every single point.

Its come to a point in the school semester where nothing else matters except projects, presentations, powerpoint slides and full suits including stockings and fugly ties. With hair done up, make up applied and cue cards ready, the group launches into its proposal for the hotel and their menu. After scouring through thousands of books in the library, wines will have to be paired up with dishes, and the company's hierarchy explained. Stronger bonds are forged and you know who you can work with. Sadly, a handful of people are outcast by others due to their own inefficiency. Its dirty work, nobody likes it, but the job has to be completed.

No mention of studying has been made thus far. Everything is hands on learning through application and discussion. I can proudly say that the knowledge gain was through our own hard work and effort and no spoon was fed into our mouths. Tutors tore down our proposals during consultation, they gave us endless naggings and lectured us on finding past reports to study. Yet if you listen real closely, these teachers tend to spout rubbish. Precious rubbish. You've got to be sharp to pick the garbage up and fight for whats yours.

Tired? Very. And today is only the beginning of the submission of reports. No breathing space allowed for us right up to Chinese New Year like what dear Zainal said. He's an angel from heaven sent to help us with FnB.

Next week will be a mass of blur. Rushing out marketing presentation, submitting POM report, editing and doing up the slides for Public speaking, drafting out Comm skills letters and minutes of meetings, Japan's economics and so much more. I'm just about exhausted. So exhausted mentally.

Forgive me for such lengthy boring laments. I just need an avenue to relieve myself.

It's a cycle over and over again. :( Somebody, revive me. Even today's rest was worrying. Though i got to see the little boys inside a big guys body (dragonboaters spraying water everywhere with water guns at us and each other) the rest was...unsettling.