It starts from my toes, and I wrinkle my nose

Sunday, March 30, 2008 Cory's eyes are like a jungle
He smiles, it's like the radio
He whispers songs into my window
In words nobody knows
There's pretty girls on every corner
That watch him as he's walking home
Saying, does he know
Will you ever know

You're beautiful
Every little piece love, don't you know
You're really gonna be someone, ask anyone
When you find everything you looked for
I hope your life leads you back to my door
Oh but if it don't, stay beautiful
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Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high, you're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
You cry, but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay...
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I don’t think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colors in his eyes
He’ll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I’m laughing cause I hope he's wrong
I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favorite songs
And..

I could tell you his favorite color's green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes
And if you ask me if I love him
I’d lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn’t a light go on?
Doesn’t he know I’ve had him memorized for so long?
He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don’t let no body see me wishing he was mine

He’d never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything
But my heart
First thought when I wake up is
My god he’s beautiful
So I put on my make up
And pray for a miracle

Yes I could tell you his favorite colors green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sisters beautiful he has his father’s eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
I’d lie

so true so true

Thursday, March 20, 2008 I am so tired of listening to her explanations. So so tired of her justifying everything. And im finding it a tad too difficult to let go. You'll all know soon enough.

It seems like theres nothing much I can do about myself these days. It sucks to have your ear blocked and all you hear is yourself echoing inside. Mom says that its precisely because I hear too much of myself thats why it happens-if you get the drift. Having an injured arm doesnt help much either when your goal is to do well for the April competition cause you have been out of the past few comps. for various reasons. Not only does coach not allow me to train hard, but when I do my freaking arm screams stop but my teammates dont exactly understand and I cant show it to them while gymming or swimming. Its so frustrating when its something unseen and you look perfectly fine on the outside when inside its hurting bad and you cant do anything about it but wait and wait and wait.

Its as if prayers are like dead leaves right now just when I need it the most. I want to hear normally, I want to paddle hard, I want to be strong for myself and everyone around me but I cant and all I do is moan and groan and not even bothering to ask God for help. It sucks when you know that you're wrong but your whole mind is like DEAD and as if you know what youre suppose to do but dont do it. Quiet time has been stagnant and thats the worse.

6 months. Nothing less please.

Friday, March 14, 2008 I swear that the doctors in Mount E. are total rip offs. Its literally daylight robbery.

My right ear has been blocked for a week and the pain had intensed so mom scheduled an appointment for both of us an an ENT(Ear, Nose Throat) specialist. Who knew that this friendly old grandpa was a robber in disguise under his big belly and white hair. He did a scope check on my ear and nose as if it was the usual procedure so I went ahead with it only to be told at the end while paying the fee that

Consultation: $60
Ear scope: $100+
Nose scope: $250+
Meds: $80+

Hence amounting to a grand total of $538.26. I was stunned to the toes I tell you. Speechless. Mom dreaded to hear her own bill of $400++. Like OMG 2 patients and he earned a THOUSAND bucks. and after that he doesnt stay in his office but goes around walking the wards and stuff. Like I'm sure he earns $10 000 a day given his big rotund belly. Further more he spends all his patients money on huge huge paintings that he hangs in his clinic. Like GRAND PAINTINGS which im pretty sure adds up to a RATHER HEFTY SUM. Gosh. I'm still in shock. and my ear isnt any better. It's as if I was on a plane and my ear's all blocked and painful. Thank God daddy's allowed to claim from the company my fees. At least he only pays mummy's bill. But still...OUCH.

Sticking a magnifying glass into my ear and nose costs $350?!! If i ever stick a straw into my friends' noses they had better pay me $350. I WANT A CHANGE IN DIPLOMA. I WANNA BE A FREAKING DOCTOR WHO STICKS TUBES UP PEOPLES HOLES. Ok that sounds bad but its the truth.

Fine. I cant be a doctor. But I'll marry one :))

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 An A for marketing?! Like goodness. The first thing I did was to sms Ang: WTH i got an A for HTMkg.
Goodness gracious. I'm shocked. But pleased. Heh. After all the BSing about marketing...to imagine that I got an A from a C is...overwhelming. haha.
I guess hardwork does really pay off, with showers of prayers. Thank You God. :D

My GPA's up- 3.57. Whoohoo.

Monday, March 10, 2008 Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can’t breathe?
And there he goes so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won’t see

Sunday, March 09, 2008 I have this can't-be -bothered-to-blog attitude currently so forgive me for a post unworthy of your time. Seriously. Like stop reading now.

My sister's hamster is on the run. Spencer's his name and we cant find him. He tried a prison break stint 3 weeks ago but thankfully i caught him before he disappeared into Narnia. This time we weren't so lucky. Jackie has planted sunflower seeds all over the house in an attempt to entice Spencer to reveal himself. However, what I've uncovered so far are small black like stuff on the floor. Go figure. And yes, Jackie's getting maudlin but theres nothing I can do about other than the occasional search under my bed and table.

A reward of sunflower seeds will go to the person that manages to find not only him but Mas Selamat as well. Beware, they're partners in crime.
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The week could not get any worse emotionally. Boy oh boy. At times I question God and ask him: Hey there, what are you trying to hint at? Cause im getting it pretty rough down here.

The first week of holidays and I got injured. My partner is in a far worse shape than me I should think, after that overnight episode/accident. Get well soon Chrys! So it seems that K2 is out for the time being. Well I do have to improve my K1 though, so I guess that only leaves me with no other choice but to fall in love with my boat all over again. *gah*

I hate it when things looked bright a week ago and everything is just plain blah the next. Like how i was intending to get my body into proper sprint material after a week of conditioning but instead all I got was a swollen left back muscle and an upset Sam.

Plus I've no money coming in right now. Its all, spend spend spend and no save save save. I'm trying to scrimp a little bit here and there, eat out less and such but a whole 7 weeks of hols and no work...thats gonna be hard. Gosh Kelly Services! I'm waiting for your calls!!!

Apologies for you having to tolerate my grievances here. My dad's out in full force chasing Spencer right now.
Time check: 2304hrs.
Caught and brought back to his cell after 20 hours on the run.
His accomplice Mas Selamat is no where in sight.

Monday, March 03, 2008 hello everyone :D im on hols now! though not officially but theres no more school. Yipee! Trainings started, like everyday except for sunday. And my arm kept locking today while i tried to do pullups. :( its painful now.

Saturday was the bomb, being able to row K2 with Chrys. We werent the best at being stable I must admit but still it was so much more fun capsizing with another person and swimming back together. Hahaha. We were nice people who helped to rescue the C1 boat. Waikit was in it too though with Raymond so it kinda became a C2. And for the first time ever Waikit looked kinda petrified at the thought of rowing back to shore cause the boat was slowly sinking with every stroke. The best part was the last set of 250m run down. 2 K2s, 2 K4s. Our boat capped first and when I got my head out of the water i saw the other K2 overturned as well 50m down and 1 K4 which also capped. Haha. So 4 boats were suppose to run down but only 1 completed the sprint. Lol.

Ok i suppose only a handful of you would really understand what im talking about so i apologise for the numerous Ks, and Cs, and what nots. I cant wait for Step Up 2 to come out. Exciting exciting! Though Channing tatum isnt in the movie :( but still...the dances are hott!

On the flip side, theres been so many changes lately that i'm so confused and at a lost. I dont want to disrespect anyone but why must they pull me into their problems and bring me along? I'm doing well where I am right now. They just dont know how much its affecting me and the whole issue has been at the back of my mind the whole day. My pillow is soaked.